See, the first time she asked me, my initial was response was NO. Then, NO again and again and again. Since we moved away from home, being apart is what brought us closer together. I could NOT imagine a life where my sister and I shared the same space. I just didn’t think it was possible for a number of reasons. Most people who know us (and our relationship) are probably staring at this blank faced. That’s the SAME WAY I looked before I realized this wasn’t an option. This wasn’t like Burger King or McDonald’s? Blue or Green? Stay at this job or take the new one? See, it wasn’t an option because the saving of her soul is MANDATORY. If you don’t know my sister, she shares different religious views outside of Christianity. The problem with that is lives are being snatched EVERY DAY and if today was her last day, where would she end up? NO, I am NOT God so “I don’t have a heaven or hell to put her in,” as we say. HOWEVER, He does say, “You will know them by their fruits.”(Matthew 7:16) Today, it seems like people believe that EVERYONE goes to heaven. Sorry to break it to you but that’s simply NOT TRUE and we CANNOT keep quiet about it! It doesn’t make them a “bad person” because we are ALL “bad people.” Thankfully, we serve a Good God. So, even times when we’re hard headed (like I was in this situation), He STILL helps us. I ignored the deep, gut wrenching feeling telling me I needed to move in with her. Then, as He usually does, He showed me Himself.
God speaks to people in different ways but for me, it has typically always been my dreams. This was no different. It was about 2 months ago. I had just talked to my mom about the issue again but I was still unsettled so I drifted off to sleep. In my dream, my sister had gotten into a car accident and died. At the funeral, I saw my mom and brother crying beside me and all these people around but the only noise I heard was the preacher. He kept talking about her “watching over us” and “her soul resting in heaven.” Finally, I stood up and said, “Stop it! I can’t take it anymore. In my heart, I want to believe she accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, repented of her sins, and everything else that comes with it. We all know that’s likely not the case.” Then, I just broke down. I woke up sweating and crying about to lose my mind. So, He asked me, “Is her soul worth you being uncomfortable? Is her soul worth the petty arguments? Is her soul worth eternity with me?” My answer was YES! Yes; she would probably get on my nerves. Yes; she would probably depend on me more than I’d like. Yes; we would probably get into arguments BUT NONE OF IT COMPARED TO THE POSSIBILITY OF HER SOUL SPENDING ETERNITY IN HELL. I’ve NEVER pushed the Gospel or the Lord on my sister BUT it’s those small, subtle moments and LIVING what I preach that are slowly changing her. Be clear, my sister is a beautiful person with an amazing purpose I know can change this world. It’s just… There’s only ONE TRUE GOD so either you’re with Him or against Him. That goes for me and everyone else.
I knew this was coming but I didn’t know how. I remember these times like yesterday. The first time I was about 9 or 10 yrs. old at my church back home. We were having our yearly conference and the preacher called me to the altar. He said, “You have such great power and love on the inside of you. You’re going to be the one to help save your family.” Now, at that age, I was on fire for God so I was excited, even though I now realize I had NO clue what it actually meant. Over the years, I’ve been told that again twice in different ways and it began to worry me. Like, I know God is the ONLY ONE who can change hearts but it meant He was going to use me to do it? Huh? Why Me? Why not me? God designed me for such a time as this and strategically placed me with my mother and this family. When my Bigma passed about 2 years ago, I began to see it all come to fruition. Family “secrets” started coming out. We were beginning to be open about past hurts and wounds that were holding us down. As time has passed, it’s gotten increasingly more difficult and more wearing on me but His grace is sufficient. See, humility and selflessness is necessary to be Christ-like. In this entire situation, ALL I originally saw was what it would do to ME and how it would affect ME but NOT the bigger picture behind it. He wanted me to remind you all that EVERYTHING has a purpose. Most of the time, the only way to see it is to set yourself aside, get on your knees, and find out why He has you in this place, doing this thing, helping this person or WHATEVER it is. TRUST ME, it’s for His glory and the end result will be more beautiful than you ever imagined. Even if my sister doesn’t convert (though I believe her heart is slowly being pierced), I will have been obedient and the blood will be off of my hands. What has He told you to do?